Lots of Famous men in one picture... how many can you name?

Robot police officer begins to work in Beijing

BEIJING, Nov. 21 -- A robot police officer has recently begun working in Changping District of Beijing, facilitating citizens who want to call the police.

The newspaper Beijing Times reported on Tuesday that four video cameras have been installed in the robot, three in the head and one pinhole camera on the chest, with which he can inspect his surroundings.

When needing to call the police, citizens need only press a red button on the robot's stomach and the robot will automatically connect with police headquarters. Speaking through a microphone installed on the robot's chest, citizens can speak directly with an officer.

According to Changping police, the robot officer will be mainly used in areas where cameras can't be installed and where incidents happen frequently, thus benefiting citizens and frightening criminals.

Funny Car Accidents

Joke: Re-marry?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the

Wife looks over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)


WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "sh*t."

Why Boys Don't Get Dolls - be careful

This is why they don't give dolls to boys; funny and naughty...



having trouble seeing the video click here

Interesting Facts

Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears never stop growing.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.

When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.

Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

Like finger prints, everyone's tongue print is different.

The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body.

The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three times each morning.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

AND THE MOST INTERESTING FACT IN THE HISTORY IS;

When you were born, you were crying and every one around you was smiling.

LAGAA DEMOCRACY MEIN DAAG !!

Cat born with two faces & four eyes

What's new pussycat? Oh, nothing much, just my extra face. Cats have often been accused of being two-faced animals, but this is ridiculous. This is Lil'Bit in the ultimate mog-shot. He is the kitty with more features than your average fuzzball.
Even Blofeld's white Persian is afraid of him. Lil'Bit may look like the Frankenstein of felines, but he somehow manages to come a whisker away from being really cute. When he was born seven months ago, he had to be fed milk with an eye-dropper. He lives with his 47-year-old female owner in Arizona. Lil'Bit had four eyes when he was born, but the two in the middle are converging into one giant cat's eye. However, he still has two distinct noses and mouths, resulting in double the whining when he's hungry. Scientists believe he has two brains because when one face sleeps the other can remain alert and awake. When he gets a cold, only one of his noses runs. He was one of five kittens born to Lil'Pine, his brothers and sisters arriving into the world with just the one face each. Losers.

source

Woman with half a brain

Doctors treating a Chinese woman who complained of feeling weak discovered she only had half a brain.

The woman, 39, from Wuhan city, has lived a perfectly normal life and only came into hospital after she complained of feeling weak and stiff.

Zhang Linhong, director of Neural Rehabilitation Department at the local hospital, said: "On the MRI scans we were surprised to see that she only has grey matter on the right side.

"Our usual understanding is that the left brain controls language. But this patient has no problem communicating with people."

The woman's mother said her daughter lives a very normal life.

"She graduated from high school with good marks. Her memory is very good. She remembers phone numbers and names immediately."

source

Underwater Hotel under construction in Dubai..........

Underwater Hotel under construction in Dubai Currently under construction in Dubai , Hydropolis is the world's first underwater luxury hotel. It will include three elements: the land station, where guests will be welcomed, the connecting tunnel, which will transport people by train to the main area of the hotel, and the 220 suites within the submarine leisure complex. It is one of the largest contemporary construction projects in the world, covering an area of 260 hectares, about the size of London 's Hyde Park .This will be a hotel where those who do not dive - or do not even swim - can experience the tranquillity and inspiration of the underwater world.In order to enter this surreal space, visitors will begin at the land station. This 120m woven, semicircular cylinder will arch over a multi-storey building.
The upper storeys of the land station house a variety of facilities, including a cosmetic surgical clinic, a marine biological research laboratory and conference facilities.

The world of science fiction becoming reality.

The shallow water hotel will be shaped as a bowl and will be positioned on the sea ground, according to Hohmann. The deep water version is floating in the sea with anchors on the ground.
The bowl will be constructed externally and then positioned on the location. It will then be emptied of the water and equipped with huge aquariums as an attraction for the guests. "At the shallow water hotel, guests are exposed to big fish tanks that contain controlled water and fish, since shallow water is muddy and not transparent. At the deep water hotel, visitors are looking directly into the sea

Joke: SECRET TO HAPPY MARRIAGE

Here's the untold secret of married life....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary.
Their Domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. What a
peaceful & loving couple".
A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their
long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited
the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by
horse.
We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly
said, 'that's once'." We proceeded a little further and the horse
stumbled again.
Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'"We hadn't gone a
half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time.
My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse
dead."I started an angry protest over her treatment of the horse,
while I was shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said,
'That's once'. "And we lived happily ever after."

Ford Ikon Accident

Definitions of Type of Economy

Definitions
Socialism: You have 2 cows; you give one to your
neighbour.

Communism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and
gives you some milk.

Fascism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and
sells you some milk.

Nazism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and
shoots you.

Bureaucracy: You have 2 cows. The state takes both,
shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...

Traditional Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell
one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the
economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one,
and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
has dropped dead.

French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on
strike, organize a riot, and block the roads because
you want three cows.

Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign
them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market
it worldwide.

German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer
them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and
milk themselves.

Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't
know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them
and learn you have five cows. You count them again and
learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn
you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open
another bottle of vodka.

Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of them
belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300
people milking them. You claim that you have full
employment, and high bovine productivity, and execute
the newsman who reported the real situation.

Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship
them.

Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of
cows. You tell them that you have one. No one believes
you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You
still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
democracy...

Miracle man walks again

He survived against all the odds; now Peng Shulin has astounded
doctors by learning to walk again.When his body was cut in two by a lorry in 1995, it was little short
of a medical miracle that he lived.It took a team of more than 20 doctors to save his life.
Skin was grafted from his head to seal his torso – but the legless Mr
Peng was left only 78cm (2ft 6in) tall. Bedridden for years, doctors
in China had little hope that he would ever be able to live anything
like a normal life agan.But recently, he began exercising his arms, building up the strength
to carry out everyday chores such as washing his face and brushing his
teeth. Doctors at the China Rehabilitation Research Centre in Beijing
found out about Mr Peng's plight late last year and devised a plan to
get him up walking again. They came up with an ingenious way to allow
him to walk on his own, creating a sophisticated egg cup-like casing
to hold his body with two bionic legs attached to it. He has been
taking his first steps around the centre with the aid of his specially
adapted legs and a resized walking frame. Mr Peng, who has to learn
how to walk again, is said to be delighted with the device.

LOGICAL THOUGHTS

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
_____
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
_____
The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
_____
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
_____
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
_____
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
_____
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
_____
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich?.. Which never works.
_____
If at first you don't succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
_____
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls down, it will always land on the buttered side.
_____
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
_____
***** 42.7% of all statistics is made on the spot. *****
_____
As soon as you mention something?? if it is good, it is taken?. If it is bad, it happens.
_____
He who has the gold, makes the rules ---- Murphy's golden rule.
_____
If you come early, the bus is late. If you come late?? the bus is still late.
_____
Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
_____
When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
_____
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
_____
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
_____
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
_____
The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
_____
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the other.
_____
If your exam is tomorrow, there will be a power cut tonight.
_____
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
_____

Pakistani animated character takes Mexico by storm

Commander Safeguard, the first animated superhero of Pakistan and the mascot of P&G's brand Safeguard, has taken Mexico by storm. Developed by Post Amazers, the largest animation house in Pakistan and the first with a truly global clientele, the hit series started a semi-revolution amongst Pakistani kids who just could not get enough of it.

After its success in Pakistan, the series was adapted to fit the culture and lifestyle of kids in Mexico. Going by the name 'EI XXXXX', the commander has succeeded in breaking all records to date, coming even ahead of 'SpongeBob SquarePants', currently the most popular character world-wide, with a rating of 6.2 as compared to SpongeBob's 5.5. According to Pakistan Software Exports Board, Post Amazers CEO Asif Iqbal talking about these developments said:" The success of Commander Safeguard only proves the point that there is a lot
of raw talent in Pakistan, which if directed properly can compete on international level.

How to Ruin a Romantic Moment

Funny beer ad showing how men destroy romance - watch and weep, boys!

Women agrees to change her identity/face for her Husband Love

Unbelievable as it may sound, there is a woman in our world who is ready to forego her identity by having her face 'modified' according to the pattern devised by her husband. Putting aside women's lib she has given a new angle to women's loyalty.

China's Chongqing Business News has recently carried the story of a man named Zhao Gang, 32, who lost his wife three years ago in a car mishap. He himself was injured so badly that he had to spend six months in a hospital. Once discharged from there, he resolved to keep the memory of her late wife alive by never marrying again. (Some even otherwise consider marriage not a word, but a sentence!)

"As a matter of principle I should have died with my sweetheart, but to remarry will mean sheer infidelity with the departed soul," Zhao would reply to his friends and relatives whenever pressed by them to take a second wife. "Thirty-two years is too short an age to adopt celibacy," they would, in turn, urge him.

Swayed by the sustained pressure of his near and dear ones, Zhao at last agreed to wed again but put forward a strenuous condition which was tantamount to an outright refusal. He told his parents that he would marry with that woman only who resembled her former wife. He thought it to be nigh impossible for them to find such a woman but, after hectic search, they did succeed in locating one. Now Zhao had little ground to remain single. He married and later said, "I took Kim as my wife only because she looks to me a bit like her predecessor and I want to have a chance to make up for my mistakes."

However, soon after the marriage, on 'close observation,' he found that Kim needed minor 'touching' to become the replica of the woman imprinted on his heart. He, therefore, persuaded her to undergo plastic surgery if she wanted to stay with him. This was a callous demand and was arguably turned down by Kim. "You had accepted me on 'as-it-is, where-it-is' basis," she pleaded apparently to keep Zhao within limits. Yet, he was hellbent to establish his 'writ' in the house and prove the veracity of an orthodox view, "A man may brave opinion; a woman must submit to it."

Ultimately, the far-sighted, condescending and prudent lady melted belying the absolutely unrealistic male view that if you prolong the first syllable of woman, she becomes the woe of man. Kim consented to the surgery thrust upon her saying, "I feel complicated. I don't want to become some one else's shadow, but I also don't want to lose my family. Now I only hope that the surgery will not make me look ugly." Zhao, on the other hand, acknowledges, "Maybe, it's more or less unfair to her, but she has expressed her willingness and I will embrace her with all my love."

source

Marriage Proposal in Dawn Newspaper

text conversion of below scanned image from the dawn newspaper:

ONLY RICH LADIES READ IT.
Life never comes again. Don't be 'ZIDDI' (stubborn) to live alone. I am 54 years, alone, Height 5'10", Healthy. But Job less (&) home less. Ladies having good income but decided not to marry can contact.; Widows under 50 years. Dont lose your life 'Alone' Due to money. Lets join hands in Happiness and sorrow, together.

Decide & Contact. Only Widows, Professors & Teachers; 18 or 19 Grade
Direct# (+92) 333-5240464



ref: www.dawn.com

Robery At Jewelry Shop At Gulf Center Karachi

Don't give up keep watching, you will be surprise what’s happening, watch for first 6 minutes..........

Cricket: Shoaib Akhtar Toe Crusher

Man in India marries dog as atonement

He tells paper he had been suffering since he stoned two canines to death
... some sex life is going to have ...

NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.

P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.

Selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago

After that my legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear," he said in the report.

The paper said an astrologer had told Selvakumar the wedding was the only way he could cure the maladies. It did not say whether his situation had improved.

Deeply superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to dogs and other animals, believing it can ward off certain curses.

The paper showed a picture of Selvakumar sitting next to the dog, which was wearing an orange sari and a flower garland.

The paper said the groom and his family then had a feast, while the dog got a bun.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21768663/

Joke: Really wishful thinking

A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how
badly treated she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a
magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a
magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her
troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informs her that he will
give her three wishes. But, he cautions her that because he does not
believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount
of whatever she wishes.

The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she
makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The
genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one
billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband
is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars.

The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish.
The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own
private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then
reminds again that her ex-husband now owns ten of what she wished for,
and points at the beach to a small development of ten such mansions.

Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last
wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs
the genie that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do
this, the genie again warns her that her ex-husband will get TEN times
what she wishes for.

"No problem," said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. "For my last
wish … I'd like to give birth to TWINS."

Russians Get Day Off To Boost Birth Rate

http://www.thenews.com.pk/daily_detail.asp?id=72050

MOSCOW: Workers in a Russian region were given a holiday on Wednesday, to have sex in a bid to boost the birth rate.

Today has been declared the Day of Conception in Ulyanovsk, Lenin's birthplace, when couples are told go to home and multiply.

If they succeed they could win a car, cash or a fridge.

Under the city council's "Give Birth to a Patriot" scheme, those who give birth on June 12, Lenin's birthday, will get a prize.

The winning couple of the grand prize - a locally made 4x4 car - are judged by a committee on criteria such as "respectability" and "commendable parenting".

The scheme is championed by the Ulyanovsk governor, Sergei Morozov. "The leadership (of the country) is interested in the family," he told AP Television News. Since the scheme started three years ago the region's birth rate has increased.

Low life expectancy, declining birth rates, a spike in emigration to other countries, a frayed healthcare system and other factors have contributed to a sharp drop in Russia's population since the 1991 Soviet collapse. The world's largest country now has just 141.4 million citizens, making it one of the most sparsely settled nations in the world. Experts expect the decline to accelerate, estimating that Russia's population could fall below 100 million by 2050.

Just 311 women signed up to take part in the first competition, in 2005, and qualify for a half-day off from work. The following June, 46 more babies were born in Ulyanovsk's 25 hospitals compared to the previous June, including 28 born on June 12, officials said.

In Memory of all those who love their bosses !

A guy calls up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.

"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.

"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO
YOU KEEP CALLING?"

He replied laughing,

"I just love hearing it... ;-) "

Cricket Most Bizarre Dismissal

Bravo knocking off Kevin Pietersen

Talk about Encroachment

This one is really of the charts


having trouble seeing the video click here

War On Terror

Breaking Bones (literally)

Football Tricks

having trouble seeing the video click here

*!~@Priceless <%21%7E@Priceless>!@~

A husband wakes up with a huge hangover the night after a business function. He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! The husband sits up in bed and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping Love you!

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.

The husband asks: Son . . . what happened last night??
Son: Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.?
The husband asks: Huh?! So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??
His son replies: Oh, THAT? Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, Leave me alone, bitch! I'm married!??


Two aspirins --- $.25
Red rose bud -- $3


Hot breakfast --- $5
Broken table ---- $200
Saying the right thing, at the right time . . . PRICELESS!

The English Guide For The Sexes

THE MEN'S GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH

We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I've got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = (Too late, you're dead.)
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?


THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MALE ENGLISH

I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I'd like to have sex with you
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
I like that one better (while shopping) = Pick any freakin dress and let's go home!

Male & Female Definations

Wants and needs

Female-The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship
Male-Food, sex, and beer

Communication
Female-The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner
Male-Jotting a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys

Butt
Female-The body part that all clothing manufactures makes "looks bigger"
Male-The organ of mooning and farting

Commitment
Female-A desire to get married and raise a family
Male-Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend

Entertainment
Female-A good movie, concert, play or book
Male-Anything with one ball, two fields, or three stooges

Flatulence
Female-An embarrassing byproduct of digestion
Male-An endless source of entertainment, self-expression & male bonding

Glass Ceiling
Female-The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the top in business
Male-What would really be great since that hot babe works in the office above!

Lesbian
Female-A woman who makes love to other women
Male-A woman who has sex with other women so men can get turned on

Making love
Female-The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve
Male-What men have to call "boinking" to get women to "boink"

Remote control
Female-A device for changing from one TV channel to another
Male-A device for scanning through all 99 channel every 2 minutes

Taste
Female-Something you do to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good
Male-Something you do to food you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out

Thingy
Female-Any part under a car's hood
Male-The strap fastener on a woman's bra

Vulnerable
Female-Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another
Male-Playing ball without a cup

Pakistani scientist in Nobel team

WASHINGTON, Oct 13: Pakistani professor Adil Najam, now teaching at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, Tufts University, US, is amongst the team of scientists and experts in the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change that shares the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize with former US Vice President Al Gore.

The 2007 Peace Prize, announced in Stockholm, Sweden, on Friday includes a gold medal and $1.5 million, is to be shared between Al Gore and the IPCC for enhancing the understanding of the science of climate change. The IPCC is a panel of the world's most eminent and leading scientists working on global warming and it produces its scientific assessment every 4-5 years.

These assessments, especially the most recent one, have been influential in moving global climate policy, including changes in US and other country positions on the subject.

Prof Adil Najam has served as an expert on this prestigious panel for eight years, and as a Convening Lead Author for its most recent report. Along with other scientists on the panel he helped shape the findings of the IPCC, especially on issues related sustainable development and other developing country interests.

Dr Adil Najam holds a doctorate and two Masters degrees from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), a specialisation in negotiation from Harvard Law School, and an engineering degree from UET, Lahore.

He has taught at MIT, Boston University, University of Massachusetts and currently at Tufts University. He is author of more than a dozen books.

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Rumsfeld flees France fearing arrest

Sat, 10/27/2007 - 08:45

Former US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld fled France today fearing arrest over charges of "ordering and authorizing" torture of detainees at both the American-run Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq and the US military's detainment facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, unconfirmed reports coming from Paris suggest.
US embassy officials whisked Rumsfeld away yesterday from a breakfast meeting in Paris organized by the Foreign Policy magazine after human rights groups filed a criminal complaint against the man who spearheaded President George W. Bush's "war on terror" for six years.
Under international law, authorities in France are obliged to open an investigation when a complaint is made while the alleged torturer is on French soil.
According to activists in France, who greeted Rumsfeld shouting "murderer" and "war criminal" at the breakfast meeting venue, US embassy officials remained tight-lipped about the former defense secretary's whereabouts citing "security reasons".
Anti-torture protesters in France believe that the defense secretary fled over the open border to Germany, where a war crimes case against Rumsfeld was dismissed by a federal court. But activist point out that under the Schengen agreement that ended border checkpoints across a large part of the European Union, French law enforcement agents are allowed to cross the border into Germany in pursuit of a fleeing fugitive.
"Rumsfeld must be feeling how Saddam Hussein felt when US forces were hunting him down," activist Tanguy Richard said. "He may never end up being hanged like his old friend, but he must learn that in the civilized world, war crime doesn't pay."
International Federation for Human Rights (FIDH) along with the Center for Constitutional Rights (CCR), the European Center for Constitutional and Human Rights (ECCHR), and the French League for Human Rights (LDH) filed the complaint on Thursday after learning that Rumsfeld was scheduled to visit Paris.

Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends

MASCOUTAH, Ill. - Two hugs equals two days of detention for 13-year-old Megan Coulter.

The eighth-grader was punished for violating a school policy banning public displays of affection when she hugged two friends Friday.

“I feel it is crazy,” said Megan, who was to serve her second detention Tuesday after classes at Mascoutah Middle School.

“I was just giving them a hug goodbye for the weekend,” she said.

Megan’s mother, Melissa Coulter, said the embraces weren’t even real hugs — just an arm around the shoulder and slight squeeze.

“It’s hilarious to the point of ridicule,” Coulter said. “I’m still dumbfounded that she’s having to do this.”

District Superintendent Sam McGowen said that he thinks the penalty is fair and that administrators in the school east of St. Louis were following policy in the student handbook.

It states: “Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.”

Parents urge change in policy
Coulter said she and her husband told their daughter to go ahead and serve her detentions
because the only other option was a day of suspension for each skipped detention.

“We don’t agree with it, but I certainly don’t want her to get in more trouble,” Coulter said.

The couple plan to attend the next school board meeting to ask board members to consider rewording the policy or be more specific in what is considered a display of affection.

“I’m just hoping the school board will open their eyes and just realize that maybe they shouldn’t be punishing us for hugs,” Megan said.

source

UK chooses 'most ludicrous laws'

Legislation said to prohibit people dying while in the Houses of Parliament has been voted one of the most ludicrous laws in the UK.

Treason laws which reportedly could be used against someone who places a stamp upside down on a letter were also cited by those polled by UKTV Gold.

Nearly 4,000 people picked laws on a list compiled by UKTV Gold researchers.

It examined laws that have never been repealed even though statutes could have rendered them obsolete.

A UKTV Gold spokeswoman said many of the regulations were referenced in the book The Strange Laws of Old England by Nigel Cawthorne.

A total of 27% of those questioned by UKTV Gold thought the law against dying in the Houses of Parliament was the most absurd.

Mr Cawthorne told the Daily Telegraph newspaper that anyone who dies in Parliament is technically entitled to a state funeral and the law is in place to ensure this does not happen.

However, a spokesman for the House of Commons said: "The people who know about these things here say there is no basis for such a law, not to say it does not exist somewhere in writing."

Cannon firing

Other lesser-known laws making the list included one banning eating mince pies on Christmas Day and another from 1313 stating it is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour.

Almost half of those asked confessed to breaking the mince pie law, which was brought in by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th Century.

Last year, the Law Society last year highlighted a number of bizarre laws still in existence on the statute book in England and Wales.

These included a ban on firing a cannon close to a dwelling house (Met Police Act 1839); a ban on the use of any slide upon ice or snow (Town Police Clauses Act 1847); and the prohibition of driving cattle through the streets of London (Metropolitan Streets Act 1867).

An ongoing cull of obsolete laws by the statute law revision team, has seen 2,000 abolished since 1965.

Dead whales

Among the most ridiculous laws listed by UKTV Gold were:

It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%)

It could be regarded an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British king or queen's image upside-down (7%)

Eating mince pies on Christmas Day is banned (5%)

In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants (4%)

The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%)

It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%)

It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament wearing a suit of armour (3%)

source

Most Expensive Ad

May have seen this earlier, but the master piece that it is, could be seen again.

This is the world's most costly Advertisement and the winner of this year's best Ad of the world.

It took 606 takes and re-takes to make this commercial and the total cost was $ 6.2 million for this 90 second commercial. You could probably make a movie for that kind of money!

Everything is real with no graphics used and still look at the precision. The team that made this commercial won many awards.

A MUST-SEE

Boy hires hitman to Kill parents

We've certainly gotten cranky after being denied some quality gaming time, but 16-year-old Cory Ryder took it to the next level by attempting to hire a hitman to kill his parents after they took away his PlayStation and denied him television. Seems young Cory had been making threats around the house, so his mom hired a cop to pose as a hitter -- and Cory took the bait, offering up his dad's truck as payment. After a couple rounds of "negotiations," the officer revealed himself and arrested Cory for attempted murder, for which he's now awaiting trial. Of course, you'd think that having a hitman conveniently show up after you'd been threatening to kill your parents might set off an alarm or two, but Cory's apparently not the brightest bulb around -- his PlayStation was confiscated due to failing grades.

Full News at Timesonline.co.uk

Cat Fight in Defence, Karachi

Prayer before stepping in office !!!

What a Prayer !!!

Pray before stepping in office !

Shadi = Abadi ya Saza

Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuch yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thora sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
Ek pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..

******

5 saal baad........

Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chorte hue jana...
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaz aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhori nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh Lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal Lena..
Na Jane gharwali kaisa roop Le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi who din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare Ho jaayenge.... ...!

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